Mixed with Trouble: A CASH BAR NOVEL Read online

  “Because he couldn’t stand not to have his cake and eat it too?” I guess.

  “Well, that’s a given,” she snorts. “Honestly though, do you think that this woman is someone he gives a fuck about?”

  Her words cause my heart to constrict. He doesn’t, I already know that he doesn’t, and he claims that he’ll be free of her soon.

  But that’s not what has me so upset, not really anyway. He lied to me, he kept that from me and made me believe that all my little girl dreams were coming true. He made me feel like the biggest fool on the planet.

  That’s what hurts the most. That I had this dream my entire life and I thought it was coming to fruition, but it wasn’t, not the way that I’d always imagined. Disappointment is a fucker of an emotion.

  Shaking my head, I take another healthy swig from the bottle, no longer even feeling the burn from the alcohol as it slides down my throat.

  “That’s not the point,” I say. “He lied, he made me look like an idiot.”

  “Pride is a sticky little fucker, Lea. Just remember that,” she warns as she stands and walks away from me, back behind the bar to her post.

  Coda takes the opportunity to leave his own station and sit down in front of me. My eyes round when he slips the bottle from my fingers and sets it down on an empty table next to us. Frowning, I look from the bottle to him.

  “You don’t need to drink anymore,” he murmurs.

  “I don’t?”

  He shakes his head, his gaze searching my face. “He really fucked you up, didn’t he?” he asks.

  “His ink is fresh on my shoulder and he’s engaged to another woman, what do you think?”

  “I think that you wanted him to be something he’s not and now that he’s real, you’ve decided you don’t want that life that you’ve been dreaming of since you were a girl?”

  “Why are you being a dick?” I ask.

  He chuckles, then shrugs. “I’m not being a dick, I’m being realistic. Nothing is as good as our dreams make it out to be, babe.”

  “It should be better,” I whisper.

  He reaches across the table, his fingers touching beneath my chin and he tips my head back. I look across toward him through my lowered lashes. He’s beautiful, classically handsome and much too pretty to be a member of the Notorious Devils MC.

  “Maybe, maybe not? What it is, is real life, Lea. You won’t get a true fairy tale with any man. There will always be ups and downs,” he explains.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I nod. “I know,” I admit. “I just hoped that this, with him, that it wouldn’t be so painful,” I admit.

  Saying the words aloud hurts from the inside out. I feel overly dramatic, but is the loss of childhood dreams something to just dismiss?

  “You’re thinking way too fucking much about this shit,” Coda says.

  Shifting my gaze back over to him, I notice that he’s smirking in my direction. “Am I?”

  “Uh, fucking hell, Lea. He’s a guy, you’re a woman. You fucked and he marked you. How many men have you fucked that have marked the inside of you some way or another?” he asks.

  “All of them,” I whisper.

  My mind automatically goes back to Carter. He marked my face, but he also marked my soul. It seems like if I really think about it, I have hash marks on my soul, one for each man that’s hurt me, my biological father being the first.

  I don’t know him, don’t even know his name. I’ve never asked my mom, but when I found out that Fish wasn’t my real dad, that my biological father learned about me and bounced the next minute. That started the hurt.

  Every other man that has come and gone in my life has just added to it, every man except Skinner. I wanted to believe that Baby would never be lumped in with all of them, but he is.

  “Do you have a phone on you?” I ask.

  Coda lifts his chin and slides the device across the table. Searching through his contacts, I find Skinner’s number easily. It rings a couple of times and then I hear him pick up.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  LEA

  Skinner sounds confused, probably because a prospect is calling him, he doesn’t realize it’s me right away. There are some voices in the background, but that’s normal for this life. There is always, always, someone around watching and waiting to gossip.

  “Are you around?” I ask.

  “Lea?”

  “It’s me,” I whisper as I close my eyes.

  There is some shuffling, then the voices disappear and it’s quiet before he speaks again. “I’m in the middle of club business, but do you need me?”

  See. He’s always there. Always ready to help me in any way, even when I’ve been the one to treat him like shit. Instead of the other way around.

  “No, I just. Is it okay if I go home tonight?” My voice sounds small, smaller than it ever has.

  There’s a pause, then I hear him grunt. “You with a prospect?” he asks.

  “Coda is here with me.” I nod as if he can see me.

  There’s a sigh, then he talks again. “Have him take you to the house. You’re sure that’s where you want to be? What about Baby?”

  Closing my eyes, I try not to cry. It’s not that I’m only incredibly sad, I’m disappointed in myself and in Baby.

  “It doesn’t matter. I just want to be home,” I breathe.

  “Then that’s where you’ll be,” he says.

  I can almost see him nodding a couple of times and I smile at the image in my mind. Coda reaches for the phone and before I can say anything else, he has it up to his ear and he’s murmuring to Skinner.

  “Time to go home to Mama, babe,” he announces as he stands to his feet.

  I smile up at him, standing as well, but before he can walk away, I reach for his forearm and squeeze. He looks down at my hand, then into my eyes and tilts his head to the side in question.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask.

  He chuckles softly, his hand wrapping around my wrist, his warm and strong fingers grasping me. “At first, it was solely to fuck you,” he admits unabashedly.

  I can’t hold back my laughter, my eyes dancing across his face. “And now?”

  “I’d still fuck you, but beyond that, I see a lot of myself in you. People can be disappointing as fuck. They can rip your heart out and stomp on it. They can do a lot of fucked-up shit. I want you to have your happiness, whatever that looks like.”

  “Even if it means we don’t fuck?” I ask, my lips slowly lifting into a smile.

  He winks, squeezing my wrist. “Can’t say my cock won’t be supremely disappointed, but yeah, even if it means I don’t get inside a pussy that I know is super fuckin’ sweet.” He grins.

  I can’t hold back the laugh, it bubbles up my throat and comes out as my body shakes with laughter.

  “You’re terrible,” I exhale.

  “I know, but you’d love all the naughty things that I could do to you,” he says.

  Together we walk out of the bar. I feel almost completely sober by the time the cool night air washes over me. Inhaling the scent of the woods around me, I feel at peace for the first time in five years.

  Home.

  I am home.

  Now, I just need to get the rest of my shit together.

  “Climb on the back, babe.”

  Looking from my feet to the back of Coda’s bike, then flicking my gaze up to his face, I inhale a deep breath. This feels so much bigger than almost anything that I’ve ever done.

  Climbing onto the back of this bike, it means more than just getting a ride with him. It’s a betrayal to Baby. A smile forms and I do something that I know without a doubt that I should never, ever do.

  Throwing a leg over the back of his bike, I spread my thighs and scoot a bit closer to him than I should, wrapping my arms a little too tightly around his waist feeling his tight muscles beneath his t-shirt.

  Coda takes off like a rocket, the bike roaring down the country roads. Without thinking, I release my arms from ar
ound his waist and hold them straight up in the air, my face tilting back, closing my eyes and just feeling the freedom of the bike and the wind.

  “Hold on,” Coda shouts.

  I open my eyes, my arms not moving fast enough and then it happens before I realize it. The sound of crunching metal fills my ears before there’s a scream. I realize belatedly that it’s my scream.

  Everything around me spins. There is a man’s voice, his laughter fills the air. “When little girls get in over their heads, they end up hurt, or worse,” he chuckles.

  The ground is wet, it’s muddy, and that smell that I loved so much a few moments ago, it’s now soured and I suddenly despise it. My arm hurts, my side aches, and my head feels like it’s going to explode.

  Hands reach for me, more than just two and no matter how I try to fight them off, I’m completely unsuccessful.

  “Let her go,” Coda’s ragged voice calls out.

  “Shut him up,” one voice grinds out.

  Before anyone can make a move, there’s a heavy weight on me as a gunshot fires.

  “Fuck,” another shouts.

  My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on top of it, the weight too much for me to bear and I know that I’m going to die like this. In the middle of the woods, on the wet ground with some strange asshole probably dead on top of me.

  There’s another gunshot, then another, I count five before the night goes completely quiet. The weight pressed against my chest disappears and I suck in a deep breath, my eyes pinching closed, too afraid to see what will happen next.

  “Lea, babe, take my hand. I don’t know who is going to come behind them,” he rasps.

  Opening my eyes, I reach out with my arm that isn’t screaming in pain and take his hand. He gently pulls me up to my feet and I whimper with pain. Everything, every part of my body hurts.

  Turning to look down at the ground, I see them. Two men dressed all in black are lying in pools of blood that are soaking into the ground.

  “What the fuck?” I breathe.

  “I would venture to guess this is why Baby demanded that you stay under lock and key,” he murmurs, arching a brow at me.

  I focus on him and gasp. His lip is bleeding, along with the skin right above his eyes. He’s dirty and I’m sure as banged up as I am, or even more so. He limps toward me with a hiss, then I feel his hand wrap around my uninjured shoulder.

  “Who the fuck did you piss off, Lea?” he asks. “Shit, we don’t have time to talk about it, let’s fucking disappear,” he mutters as soon as I see headlights turn a corner.

  Turning toward the woods, I whimper and together we limp off as quickly and quietly as we can. Damnit all to hell, fuck this shit.

  I bite the inside of my cheek, cursing a dead Carter and his father. It has to be his father’s men, there’s no other explanation for what’s just happened.

  BABY

  “Take that duct tape off of my daughter’s mouth, you heathens,” Phillippe Martel, Senior demands.

  I snort but do as he’s requested. Pinching my fingers against the corner of the tape, I rip it off quickly and with zero care to whether I’ve hurt the bitch or not. Chardonnay screams out in pain and I can do nothing other than chuckle at her expense.

  “You’ve fucked up, all of you,” she growls.

  “We ain’t the ones tied to a chair, babe,” I point out.

  “Enough theatrics,” Martel announces. “You can finish your lover’s squabble later. We need to have a meeting. Take her elsewhere.”

  “What? No,” she cries.

  It comes to me in a rush. Chardonnay wants to be in control because she has zero when it comes to her father. If she had control of the Notorious Devils through me, then she’d have something to hold over her father, at the least, she would be of importance to him.

  “I’m not moving her again. Let’s finish this shit,” Snake grunts. “What the fuck do you want, Martel?”

  Martel looks from Chardonnay to me, smirking at me before his gaze finds Snake. He’s dressed in a dark suit with his hair slicked back and dark eyes that are focused on Snake in a way where it makes even my own skin crawl.

  “I don’t want anything. I’m just going to explain to you what you will do. Allowing Chardonnay her game was just a concession I was willing to allow because she’s my daughter. She’s fucking worthless though, obviously,” he snorts.

  I frown, opening my mouth to defend her, then I remember what a complete fucking cunt she is and I snap my lips closed.

  “You’ll traffic for me, for the simple price of your freedom,” he states as if Snake is just going to bend over and allow that shit.

  Snake crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing on the man. “I don’t have anything to do with the trafficking or sale of skin. None of the Notorious Devils do and we don’t hide that fact, so why you think we will is beyond me.”

  Martel clucks his tongue, while junior laughs like the political weasel he is. “You’ll do whatever I say or you’ll all end up in prison. I don’t honestly give a fuck. It could be you or some other group, as long as my shipments make it to their destinations that’s all I give a shit about.

  “However, you’re the best group for the job, with the best reputation. Plus, you have the most to lose if you do go to prison. So, there is that.” He grins.

  “Your endgame?” Snake asks.

  Martel shrugs. “I like to have complete control of each player in my organization, or affiliated. I also require the best of the best. I’ve been watching your group, in Canada and over the border. You’re indeed the best in what you do. Which is why I’ve chosen you.”

  “We’ll never work the way you want us to. We’ll always look for a way to backstab you at every fucking turn.”

  Martel’s lips turn up into an evil fucking smile. “I’ll always be one step ahead of you too,” he sneers.

  “Tell me, how is the sweet little, Lea? I’ve been anxiously awaiting her. She was supposed to come to me immediately after this meeting, by way of Carter. Then again, she still might, since she’s just at that silly little bar you have,” he drawls, then his eyes move through the room until they land on Skinner. “Or is she?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  LEA

  I trip, again on a wayward branch. Coda tightens his grip on my bicep, not letting me fall to the muddy ground. I whimper, my hair falling forward and slapping me in the face. It’s heavy, soaking up the moisture in the air.

  “I can’t go on,” I whine.

  Coda grunts. “You can, don’t be a pussy.”

  Planting my feet to the ground, I tip my head back and look up into his eyes. He’s gritting his teeth, his eyes narrowed and his brows pulled together. He’s in pain just as much as I am.

  “I think my arm is broken,” I whimper.

  His face softens just a touch before he reaches out and gingerly takes my bicep again. “I know, babe. It’s hangin’ a way that I can’t not know, but you can’t give up,” he urges.

  My eyes water and he dips his chin slightly. Looking around, the tears fall when I realize that we’re surrounded by nothingness, trees and darkness and just nothing.

  “Where are we?” I whisper.

  He takes another step toward me, his chin dipping slightly, his hand sliding up my shoulder and around the back of my neck. Slowly, he dips his chin and his forehead rests against mine.

  “No fuckin’ clue, babe. We’re gonna get the fuck outta this forest though. I’m going to get you help and tomorrow you’ll be all tucked in your bed.”

  I shake my head, lifting my only good arm and I wrap my hand around his forearm. “I’m not going to make it out here, Coda. We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t have phones and I can tell you’re hurting just as much as I am.”

  He lifts his head from mine, his eyes searching my face and a small smile plays on his lips. “You’re going to make it, Lea. Fuck yeah you will,” he growls. “When you’re back and we’re both healed, I’m kicking Baby’s
ass.”

  I gasp, my body tightening. “Why?” I breathe.

  “This shit was his whore’s fault. I’m fucking convinced this has her written all over it.”

  I snort. No doubt this has her written all over it. Between her and Carter’s family, I have no clue what is going on. Inhaling a deep breath, I close my eyes for a moment and just breathe.

  “Okay, let’s keep going. We can do this,” I grumble.

  “We can. You got this babe, you’re stronger than this shit.”

  “If I make it out of here alive, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m going to do something for you,” I state.

  He chuckles. “You can give me a hug,” he offers.

  “Yeah? That all?”

  “With your mouth.” He grins.

  My lips part and a giggle escapes me. Immediately, I moan at the pain that radiates from the move of laughter, but holy shit.

  “A mouth hug?” I ask between giggles and groans.

  He chuckles, “Yeah.”

  “Get me home. When I feel better and Baby is dealt with, then we’ll see.”

  Coda’s face gets really serious at the mention of Baby and he dips his chin, his mouth so close to mine that I can feel his breath wash over my face.

  “You may be disappointed in him, but you’re his woman, his claimed Old Lady.”

  “Are you saying you don’t want me?” I ask.

  He shakes his head once. “Right now really isn’t the time, but Lea, if he releases you. Yeah, I’d fuckin’ love to get in there, but until then, we’re only friends.”

  “Friends?” I exhale. “I always thought that was a dirty word,” I say, wrinkling my nose.

  He slides his hand from my neck to wrap around my forearm and he tugs me forward, forcing me to walk toward more darkness. My feet stumble beneath me and I moan in pain. I try to stay strong, but I fail with each step that we take together.

  “It is a dirty word, but it’s all we can be,” he says. “You’re an Old Lady and I’m a prospect.”