KILLER: An Unfit Hero Novel Read online

  His life has been moving forward, good shit happening to him left and right while I sit here in my condo in Vegas letting life just fucking pass right by me. Enough. I’ve had enough of my own self-pity.

  This shit ends now.

  Turning back to my condo, I walk into the elevator car and watch the numbers light up as it rises to the top, the penthouse. First thing I’m going to do is put this place on the market. I’m not happy here, never have been.

  Vegas is the place I called home in the past. It’s the city where I was born and raised, but it no longer feels like home. Gallup is now my home and Vegas is just where I come to train, sometimes where I fight.

  I don’t need my own place here, hell, I can just rent a house or apartment when I’m here for a few months out of the year. It’s time for a change and the only person who is going to make that shit happen, is me.

  Smirking, I open my phone and find the woman that I have been pushing to the back of my mind on social media. Her picture stares back at me, those sad eyes that consume me are right there.

  Glancing down to the relationship update, my lips turn up into a full smile: single. Maybe she thinks that being with someone who isn’t her same race is a mistake. I’m going to show her that she’s wrong, that her preconceived notions are completely fucking wrong. I’m a good man and the right one for her.

  If she still doesn’t want me, then I can honestly say that I tried. But I can’t just walk away without a fight, without even showing her who I am inside. I need her to see me for all that I am. Just like I crave to see her for all that she is, too.

  Chapter One

  ONE MONTH LATER

  TULIP

  Joey watches me from the corner of the room. I don’t know why he’s here again, no, I do. He wants me back or should I say he wants a free place to live again. I broke up with him two months ago. Kicked his ass out and have refused to let him back, no matter how many sweet words and apologies he’s given me.

  I was willing to accept all that was his lazy ass. I was more than willing to take whatever he shoveled toward me, everything except one thing.

  Cheating.

  Maybe I’m stupid for having a hard limit at all. I probably should just take him back, but there is something inside of me that can’t. As little respect as I have for myself, that’s something that I can’t accept.

  Trying to make my way to the back without him seeing me, I know that I’ve failed when I feel his fingers wrap around my bicep.

  “Tulip,” he says softly, almost in a purr.

  Turning my head, I look up and wince at the sight of him. His beard is scraggly, his hair the same. He looks and smells as if he hasn’t had a shower since I kicked him out. “Joey,” I rasp.

  “Please,” he begs.

  If I thought he was sincere, then I would probably welcome him back with open arms as I’ve done a dozen other times. But I know that he isn’t. He’s sorry, but not for having sex with someone else, he’s sorry that he was caught.

  “You need to leave me alone before I call the sheriff,” I warn, trying to wriggle my arm from his grasp.

  He smirks. “You love me. You wouldn’t do that.”

  “I wouldn’t?” I ask, arching a brow up at him.

  He frowns, taking a step back as he shakes his head once. Slowly, his gaze lifts back up to mine. “No, you wouldn’t. Known you since you was thirteen, Tulip. Know you wouldn’t do that shit to me, not ever. I’ll give you some time, a couple more weeks, but then you’re letting me back home and back inside.”

  Without responding to his words, I turn my back to him and look over my shoulder. “Why don’t you go back to Raylee? I’m sure she’d want you more than I do,” I snort.

  He shakes his head, his eyes narrowing toward me. “Ray’s fun and all, but you’re my girl, Tulip.”

  “I’m not.”

  Turning away from him, I march toward the breakroom, never looking back. I don’t need to. Joey is my past and should have been months, no years, ago. He’s a user, an emotional abuser and for some reason, I had decided that I deserved everything he gave me. Maybe I do. But I don’t think that I should accept it.

  Leaning against a small table, I sink down and close my eyes for a moment. My phone buzzes and I look down at it dancing along the tabletop before I smirk. It’s a text from Exeter.

  EXETER: DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT. SIX. MY PLACE. BRING HUMMINGBIRD CAKE.

  I could be offended that Exeter is inviting me to dinner solely so that I’ll make her some hummingbird cake, but since she’s almost eight months pregnant, and probably my best friend, I’m not.

  I’LL BE THERE.

  EXETER: WITH CAKE?

  LOL. YES. WITH CAKE.

  EXETER: YESSSSS

  Shaking my head, I can’t stop the smile from playing on my lips at the exchange. I’m glad that the dinner party is a Thursday night instead of any other night of the week, since that is my one day off from my second job.

  “He’s still out there,” Charlie announces as she sinks down in the chair next to me.

  I grunt, not wishing to talk about Joey, or even think about him anymore. I just want him to fade away. I want to forget that I wasted so many years on him, on the hopes that we could have a decent future. I’m not fool enough, never have been, to hope for some grand life. But decent, I would take decent and hold on with two hands.

  “I have a feeling that I’ll never get rid of him,” I sigh.

  She lets out a small laugh, leaning forward, her eyes wide and a smirk playing on her lips. “Get another man. Let him sort that out for you, at least long enough that this one is sent packing for good.”

  Shaking my head, I can’t help but laugh with her. “I wish it was that easy, but I don’t think it is. Plus, I’m not ready for someone else. I need to be alone for a while I think.”

  Charlie snorts. “Girl,” she says, focusing on me. “What you need is to find a man who can rock your world between the sheets. Doesn’t have to be serious, just seriously good.”

  Pressing my lips together, my eyes widen as I think about the only man that I’ve ever been with aside from Joey. Louis Kingston. God, even thinking about him sends a thrill throughout my entire body.

  Months have passed and it’s like I can feel his presence just thinking about him. “Who is he?” Charlie asks.

  Shaking myself out of my Louis trance, I lift my gaze to her. “Doesn’t matter.”

  “You deserve the man who put that expression on your face just thinking about him,” she announces as she stands to her feet. “You better get out there, it’s almost time.”

  Without another word, I watch her walk away from me. Inhaling a deep breath, I know that she’s right. I do need to get back out there. Closing my eyes for another moment, I jump when my phone dances against the tabletop again.

  CHANNING: DID EXETER JUST TEXT ME THAT HUMMINGBIRD CAKE AND YOU ARE COMING OVER TOMORROW NIGHT?

  A short burst of laughter escapes as my other pregnant friend asks about cake.

  YES. BOTH CAKE AND I WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE.

  CHANNING: CAN’T WAIT. TO SEE YOU AND EAT CAKE.

  ME TOO.

  Powering down my phone, I stand up and make my way over to my bag. Dropping the device in the front zipper pocket, I let out an audible sigh as I follow the same path that Charlie just took and make my way out of the lounge.

  My lips twitch into a smile at the thought of seeing my friends again. I haven’t seen them since the night that I found Raylee riding Joey in my living room on that damn couch he spent his days and nights lounging on.

  Exeter, Channing, Wyatt, and Rylan helped me move that piece of shit furniture out of the apartment and I watched in glee as they threw it over the banister. It cracked and broke as it landed on the asphalt below.

  It was downright satisfying, even if it means that I don’t have anything to sit on in my living room. I’m honestly okay with that.

  Wrenching open the door, I inhale a deep breath as the music fill
s my body from the outside in. I plaster on my fakest smile as I make my way out of the small room and into the wolf’s den.

  LOUIS

  Stepping off the plane, I can’t help but take in the entire area around me. I’m not surprised to see Beaumont waiting for me at the end of the tarmac, much like I waited for him when he came home after his stint in rehab and shutting everyone out.

  “Good to see you, brother,” he says as soon as I’m close enough to hear.

  Snorting, I reach out and wrap my fingers around his shoulder, bringing him into me for a hug. “We’re a fucking mess, yeah?” I murmur.

  “Speak for yourself,” he chuckles, taking a step back.

  Looking down into his eyes, I see it.

  Happiness.

  He’s so fucking happy that it practically oozes out of him.

  Fucker.

  “Girls are doing a thing tomorrow night. I’m warning you because you did the same for me when I came back into town. You also know that there’s no way around it,” he states.

  Chuckling, I walk over to the back of his truck and toss my bag into the bed. “Yeah, I suspected that they’d do something,” I say. Opening the truck door, I climb inside and let out an exhale.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Beaumont asks as he starts the engine and shifts it into drive.

  “Not really,” I truthfully admit. “Thinking I don’t have much of a choice though.”

  He laughs, but it’s strained. “You don’t have to say anything if you really don’t want to, but I think it would be good to talk about it,” he offers.

  “I drank almost ten grand worth of cognac. I’d never even tasted it before, only beer. But I opened a bottle, then another, then another.”

  “And everything you were feeling disappeared for a while, right?”

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  He clears his throat as he turns down the country road that we both call home. “It doesn’t fix it though, Louis. Never will. All it does is put a very temporary Band-Aid on it. Trust me.”

  Turning to look out of the window, I think about his words. He’s right of course, and a few months ago, I would have said the same shit.

  “I came back because this is home, but also because I have some unfinished business that if I don’t get closure on, I might as well continue fucking drowning in that bottle. And as rich as I am, I still can’t sit around and drink ten Gs of booze a month.”

  Beaumont snorts as he pulls down my long drive. “No fuckin’ shit. You know, my bank account is a hell of a lot healthier now that I’m not drinking my life away, though the smokes when I write are causing a bit of a dent.”

  “Another habit bites the dust, brother,” I point out.

  “Yeah, probably should soon anyway. Hutton ain’t gonna let me smoke anywhere near her or the house soon.”

  “Beau?” I ask as he shifts the truck into park.

  He turns to me and his lips turn up into a lazy smile. “Just found out this mornin’. It’s new, ain’t even been to the doctor.”

  “Fuck,” I grunt. “Congratulations. Shit. All of you are havin’ babies now,” I say.

  He nods. “Yeah, seems it’s time. Maybe something you can work on while you’re here and getting your shit together.”

  “Closure, Beau. I’m working on closure while I’m here. That shit does not include babies,” I snort.

  He shrugs a shoulder. “Never know,” he calls out as I open the truck door.

  Jumping out, I reach back into the bed of the pickup and grab ahold of my bag, pulling it out of the back with a heave of breath.

  Lifting my hand, I give him a wave. “Need me to pick you up tomorrow?” he calls out.

  Shaking my head, I jerk my chin. “I’ll be at Wyatt’s at six. I’ll set an alarm just in case.”

  There’s a moment of silence as I climb my stairs then I hear him. “Call me if you need an ear.”

  Fucking shit. This is why I consider him my family, why I consider all of them family. No matter what you do, they have your back. Right there to catch you when you fall and if you don’t let them catch you, then they’re right there ready to dust you off and get your shit together for you.

  All of that is also why I didn’t come home right after it happened, why I didn’t come home until I was ready. Beaumont will get it, even if nobody else will. But I couldn’t let them catch me. I couldn’t let any of them see me at my lowest. I had to figure out how to pick my own fucking self up, off of the ground, and dust off.

  As soon as I walk into the house, I find that the air is stagnant, stifling almost. Walking around, I open as many windows as I can to allow fresh air to flow, though I know that opening them will bring country dust inside, but it’s better than not being able to breathe from it being so damn suffocating.

  Making my way into the kitchen, I walk over to the sink, reaching out, I grasp the edge of the basin and grip it tightly. Closing my eyes, I drop my head and I just breathe for a moment. The sun is setting, but I can’t watch, not right now.

  I let the feeling of the space wash over me. Home. I’m home. I’ve never felt truly at home anywhere, not until I found Gallup. Maybe it’s the place, but I have a feeling that it has more to do with the people who live here.

  My family.

  Beaumont, Wyatt, Rylan, and Ford. Then there’re the women who complete them. Channing, Exeter, and Hutton. I had hoped that I’d found my missing piece, my little bit of home in Tulip to complete my life, but I didn’t.

  That is why I’ve come back to search out closure with her. I need it to move on. To hopefully find someone who will love me for who I am. Love me for the man inside of this body. I’ve never had that before and fuck, I want it—I need it.

  Chapter Two

  TULIP

  My hummingbird cake in hand, I inhale a deep breath and lift one of my fingers to quickly ring the bell before placing it beneath the cake again. I added an extra couple of layers since both Exeter and Channing made such a big deal about it and I think I overestimated my strength.

  “Hey Tulip,” Wyatt’s charming voice coos as he opens the door. Tilting my head back as far as I can, I smile up at him. He shakes his head with a grin on his lips and thankfully reaches for the cake and slides it from my hands. “They talked you into this, didn’t they?” He chuckles.

  “It didn’t really take much convincing.” I shrug.

  “Shoulda bartered with them. But it’s okay, I made sure the ranch mashed potatoes are on the table, no worries.” He winks.

  I moan, wishing that he hadn’t. Those are the last thing my already thick thighs need. “You’re dangerous to my jeans, Wyatt,” I announce as I step through the door.

  I feel something in the air, like a static electricity that fills the space as soon as I enter the living room of the barndominium. Wyatt clears his throat, turning around and I watch for a moment as his legs quickly take him away from me.

  Smiling, I shift my attention to the room and freeze when angry green glittering eyes meet mine. My breath hitches as my feet immediately stumble backward. He doesn’t allow me to retreat, or fall.

  As if he has Inspector Gadget arms, he reaches out from where he is and wraps his fingers around my biceps before he gently hauls my entire body toward him. Tilting my head back, I look up into his eyes, my breath completely frozen at the sight of him.

  It’s been months since I’ve even laid eyes on him at the grocery store, longer since we were together that single night. The absolute best night of my entire life. Seeing him in person again, I realize that my mini-fantasies don’t hold a candle to the real in person man.

  “Tulip,” his deep voice rumbles.

  Lifting my hand, I tuck some of my hair behind my ear as he releases one of my arms. “Hey, Louis. I didn’t know you’d be here,” I murmur.

  He snorts. “I’m sure you didn’t.” I watch as he looks back over his shoulder, then shifts his gaze back to meet mine. “They’re meddlers.”

  “Yeah,” I breathe,
unable to take my eyes from his.

  He shakes his head, his eyes searching my face. “Want to talk to you later, when we don’t have an audience,” he announces.

  “Okay,” I exhale.

  He releases my other arm and takes a step back. I miss his touch immediately. I want to beg him to hold me. To just be near me. He’s warm and strong, plus he smells heavenly. Hutton clears her throat as she nudges me with her shoulder.

  Snapping my lips closed, I look over at her and grimace at her smiling face. “I’d like to say that I advised against bringing you two together, but I didn’t.”

  “Thanks,” I drawl.

  Hutton shrugs a shoulder. “Don’t waste years of your life when you know something is right. Been there, done that. You both know that there’s more between you. Be brave, Tulip.”

  Shaking my head, I shove my hand in my back pocket to keep from playing with my now longer hair. “Doesn’t matter. I can’t be with someone like him.”

  “Someone?” she asks, arching a brow.

  “Famous, handsome, good. I can’t do it. I’m not like you.”

  Hutton throws her head back laughing. It’s a full-on belly laugh and I feel my face heat from her reaction. “Girl,” she says, gasping for air. “I’m a hairdresser from Burnet. Do you think that I belong with a famous, handsome, good man?”

  “Yeah. You’re gorgeous, sweet, successful and you fell in love with one another before he was famous.”

  “Fame doesn’t mean shit,” Beaumont chimes in and my face aches with heat that he overheard me. “Louis is humble. He’s good people and if you can’t see that about him, then you don’t deserve him.”