FRAUD: An Unfit Hero Novel Page 4

  “Fuck, feels good to be back in Texas,” I admit, slapping his shoulder as well.

  He takes a step back, taking his shades off and stares down at me. He’s a behemoth of a man, but deep down he’s one of the best guys that I know, kindest with the biggest heart, too.

  “Glad to have you back, missed the shit out of you. Channing had her baby, Wyatt got married, it’s been busy as fuck around here, you missed all the action as we’ve been missin’ you,” he murmurs.

  I dip my chin. “Can’t wait to officially meet Exeter and baby Reese.”

  “They want to do a dinner tonight, figured you needed a couple hours to settle in first,” he explains as we climb into his pickup.

  I tug my seatbelt on, inhaling a deep breath, then let it out. I need to get the initial meeting over with. I know that it’s going to be awkward, it’s going to be uncomfortable, but it needs to be done. I’ve been avoiding everyone for far too long at this point.

  “What about you, Louis? You good?” I ask. “What’s new?”

  He clears his throat, his fingers tightening on his steering wheel. “Nothin’ now,” he grunts.

  “What’s that mean?” I ask, thankful that the conversation has shifted from me to him.

  He lets out a heavy sigh. “Started seein’ someone in town. Didn’t work out, she went back to her ex.” He shrugs, but it’s too late, I can tell that he’s affected.

  “Who?”

  “You know Tulip?”

  I let the name roll around in my head. It’s not one that someone would easily forget, but I can’t seem to recall anyone with that name in town.

  “She works at the grocery store. Anyway, Exeter and Channing befriended her. We all went to a movie one night and then…”

  “You had a one-night stand, and you caught feelings?” I ask, arching a brow.

  He reaches out, lightly punching me in the arm, except his light is fucking hard. I wince, reaching up to rub my bicep. He chuckles at my expense as he turns down the dirt road that leads to my home.

  “I did. But she went back to her ex the next week. I felt so fucking stupid, still do.”

  “But you like her?” I ask.

  He nods. “Yeah, I mean she’s a cute little thing, but I liked that she didn’t even know who I was and when she found out, she didn’t give a fuck. I mean, obviously since she went back to some shitbag of an ex.”

  “How do you know he’s a shitbag?” I ask as I use my phone to find my gate opening app.

  Louis snorts. “He is. I know his type. Lives in her place for free, doesn’t work while she busts her ass to pay their bills. Reminds me of my mom,” he rumbles as I touch the button on my phone and watch as my gate begins to slowly open.

  “And you want to save her?” I guess.

  “It’s the kind of men we are,” he states as if we’re the same.

  We aren’t.

  He’s a much better man than I could ever imagine being. I don’t correct him though. He pulls up through my circle dirt drive and shifts the truck into park. I open the door, just as he does the same. Pausing, I turn to look over at him, surprised to see his door open as well.

  “You need someone to walk through those doors with you,” he states.

  “I do?” I ask.

  He nods. “You were deep in your addiction when you left here the last time, right?”

  I don’t say anything. I can’t. I was deep in my addiction and nobody knew. I hid it from everyone, even these men that I consider family. I’m a fraud. I hid myself away from everyone. Every single person that I know, personally and professionally.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to walk into that place alone,” he states.

  Without another word, I hop down from the lifted truck and walk toward the front door. This is a traditional style single story, with large pillars in the front, every square inch of the outside is done in a Texas limestone, except for windows and doors.

  I love this place, it was the first thing that I bought when I made it big. It cost me almost two-million dollars, but it was worth every penny. Though, I haven’t really allowed anyone else to enjoy it, mostly because I was busy hiding from myself and the world while I was locked inside.

  Shoving my key into the lock, I unlock the door and push it open. The first thing that I notice is the stench.

  “What in the fuck?” I ask.

  Louis walks up behind me. “When you’re deep in addiction, you forget to do things like take out the trash, throw trash away, do laundry or clean.”

  “You seem to know a lot about this,” I point out, turning my head to look back at him.

  Louis dips his chin, then shakes his head a couple of times. “Just know, Beau.”

  Chapter Four

  BEAUMONT

  It takes far too fucking long to clean my place up. Still smells like shit when we’re finished. I call the cleaning service that I’ve used in the past and pay quadruple their rates for an emergency, immediate, full team, complete cleanup. I can’t sleep in this place tonight if it still smells this bad.

  “You ready to go to dinner, want to change?” Louis asks.

  I look down at my now filthy t-shirt that is covered in mysterious liquids, dirt, and sweat. “I’ll change,” I say. “Be ready in five,” I call out as I jog toward the master bedroom.

  Quickly, I strip down after I start the shower by turning the water on hot. Once it’s heated, I step inside, enjoying the way it scalds my skin. I wash my hair, soap my body and rinse off before I grab the last clean towel that I own and quickly dry off.

  Wrapping the towel around my waist, I make my way into the walk-in closet and go in search of something to wear. Most of my shit was lying in piles on the floor, so I don’t have much to choose from.

  Luckily, my friends are all about casual. I know that the jeans and plain white t-shirt will fit right in with the rest of their clothes. That’s what I love about being here. This is home, this place is comfortable, I don’t have to hide all of me here.

  Running my comb through my hair, I stare at my reflection for a moment. The hair on the sides of my head is still fairly short but down the middle it’s longer than I would normally wear it, showing the natural wave.

  My beard is long as well, unkempt, but I can’t find the desire to trim, cut, or style my hair or beard.

  Fuck.

  I feel like I’m barely swimming with my head above water most days. My hair and beard have not been a priority, but maybe they should be. Then again, probably not. Turning away from my reflection, I head down the hall where I know my boots are by the front door.

  Louis has his head dipped, his focus on his phone until he hears my feet padding against the floor.

  “Ready?” I ask.

  He lifts his head, his eyes finding mine and he nods once. “Just going to run to my house and change real quick on the way.”

  I grimace at the sight of him. He looks about the same way that I did before I showered, grimy and dirty, covered in mysterious shit and sweat. I open my mouth to apologize but he holds up his hand, palm up.

  “Don’t apologize. I’m glad that I was here to help.”

  I dip my chin in a nod, not saying anything else as I watch him turn and walk out of my house. Following behind him, I glance back and wonder how in the fuck I could have lived like that. How could I have left my house in that state for almost a fucking year?

  Climbing into the pickup, I look out at the rest of my fifty acres, wondering what else is a fucking mess out there that I have been too busy drowning myself in booze to pay attention to, to fix, to give a fuck about.

  “Don’t beat yourself up, Beau,” Louis mutters.

  My head turns quickly, my eyes finding his profile almost immediately. “How can I not?” I snap. “My granny would take a switch to my ass for livin’ like that,” I state.

  He nods. “She might, but I doubt it.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugs a shoulder as he turns down his own dirt road which is just up th
e road from my place. “Because she’d know you were strugglin’ with your disease, Beaumont. When you love someone, you forgive a fuck’ve a lot of shit.”

  “Yeah,” I say, not believing any of it.

  I’m not sure how forgiving of a person I am. Not very, since I’m still not over what Chelle did to me. The way she played with my feelings, the way she made me worry about her, fight for her, search for her. The way she moved on and let me live in agony, believing that she’d been abused by the man she later married.

  I don’t forgive her. I never will.

  How can anyone ever forgive me? I wouldn’t.

  Louis leaves me in the truck, or maybe I just decide to stay in it and stew about the bullshit that is my life. What’s fucking ridiculous is that my life isn’t really bullshit. People would literally kill for the life that I have. I’m an ungrateful piece of shit. I need to get over my goddamn self is what I need to do.

  Louis is back in the truck minutes later, refreshed and clean just like me. “You know the girls are dying to see you,” he mentions.

  “I hope they aren’t disappointed. I’m still just me,” I chuckle.

  Louis reaches across the truck and pushes my head in a brotherly type move. We both laugh and the sour mood that I had quickly fades. I’m excited to see the baby, excited to meet Exeter and to have a calm evening with people that I love.

  I haven’t really been around people other than in rehab several months ago. I need to socialize again. I need to stop getting lost inside of my head. I need to feel fucking human.

  Maybe the tour wasn’t such a bad idea. It will get me out, get me moving and hopefully I’ll be able to focus on my music, old and new. The downside is that every goddamn after-party is full of booze.

  Every. Single. One.

  That temptation is going to be hard to fight, but I have to, for myself.

  HUTTON

  I bite the corner of my lip as I watch the clock. Channing and her friend, Exeter, are going to be here in just a few minutes. This concert has snuck up on me. I thought that I had more time to mentally prepare for it, more time to stress out about it and think of excuses not to go.

  “You’re going to have fun, stop being so anxious,” Laurie says from across the room.

  She’s sitting behind our small desk, her feet up and leaning back as she watches the television that we have in the corner of the room.

  “Don’t look at the screen,” she calls out.

  Turning my head, I blink at the sight in front of me. It’s a tour announcement for none other than Beaumont Griffin. There’s a picture of him with his head tipped down leaving the rehab center and I know they’re talking about his current stay.

  “Can’t you change it?” I ask with a heavy sigh.

  She shakes her head. “I know that you hate him, but that man is fine times a thousand. He was hot back in the day, but now that he’s a full-grown man, daaamn,” she groans. “I can’t believe you fucked him. I mean you fucked Beaumont Griffin,” she says as the door to the shop opens.

  I spin around, my face hot and probably fifteen shades redder than its normal coloring.

  “You did what?” Channing asks, a smirk playing on her lips.

  “Ten years ago, they dated. God, did he look as good shirtless back then as he did when they got those pics of him on the beach last year vacationing?” Laurie asks, loud enough for everyone to hear.

  I turn my head, narrowing my gaze on her but she just shrugs me off and stands. “We’re all friends here, Hutt. I mean, girlfriends talk about stuff like that and you have been a locked vault for years about that man. I am curious as hell.”

  “Why are we friends?” I snap as Channing giggles, sinking down into my chair.

  “Because you love me.” Laurie grins.

  “I’ve never seen him shirtless in person, I’m curious too,” Channing announces as I run the comb through her hair.

  Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath then let it out. Before I can say anything, Exeter speaks. “You don’t have to tell us anything, Hutton. Not unless you want to.”

  Shifting my gaze to her reflection in Laurie’s mirror, I give her a small smile. She wants to know though, I can see the wicked gleam in her eyes, the excitement at learning something new about their friend. She’s dying to hear it from me, what Beaumont was like ten years ago.

  Clearing my throat, I begin to curl Channing’s long hair as I speak. I feel like I’m not even present in this conversation, I’m just talking to appease them.

  I don’t talk about Beaumont, ever. Not because I’m angry with him, I’m not, not anymore. I am, however, still extremely hurt, and that is completely embarrassing. It’s been nine years, and we were together for only one year, it’s not like we were married and had a whole life built together.

  I was someone he came to visit, fucked and left. I was nothing more than a booty call to him. It was so much more to me, especially back then, he was everything to me. He was my first, and I thought he would be my only. I was naïve though, I know that now, but the entire situation is just plain embarrassing.

  “We met at the Bluebonnet Festival. I fell for him immediately. I was eighteen, just graduated high school, and it was my first time going anywhere like that alone.” I smile, remembering the moment that I laid eyes on Beaumont Griffin.

  “I remember what he looked like. That boy filled out his jeans nicely.” Laurie grins with a wink.

  I nod, trying not to think about that aspect of him, but I fail. I fail miserably. I lick my lips, imagining his naked body. Then let out a shaky breath, remembering the way he would move inside of me, the way that it made me feel, that he would make me feel.

  No man has ever made me come the way that he did. No man has ever compared to him and I hate that.

  “It was that good?” Channing whispers.

  My entire body jerks and I lift my eyes to meet hers in the reflection of the mirror. Licking my lips, again, I nod once, my eyes focused on hers. She widens hers, then her lips twitch and I don’t know what there is to smile about.

  “I feel that way about Rylan. Best I’ve ever had,” she breathes, and it’s then that I realize she isn’t smiling about my situation, but rather completely enamored by her own.

  I shake off the negativity. It’s not like me to feel this way, I chalk it up to the feelings that erupt inside of me every single time that I think about Beaumont. Laurie thankfully changes the topic of conversation. I don’t listen as I just allow my creativity to take over and finish styling Channing’s gorgeous blonde locks.

  When I’m finished with her, I remove my apron and touch up my own hair before I slide my palms down the front of my jeans, then turn around to look at the other women.

  “You’re changing, right?” Laurie asks.

  She has a bag in her hand and I know that there is something indecently sexy in that bag. I look down at my ripped up jeans, black V-neck t-shirt, and gold flat sandals. Lifting my gaze to the other women, I realize that both Channing and Exeter are wearing something far dressier than what I have on.

  Channing is in a shorter skirt with a tank top tucked in and a pair of sexy strappy sandals. Exeter is wearing a dress with boots. Flicking my gaze over to Laurie, she’s pulling out a black dress and I know that it’s short, with a lowcut neckline and tight. That’s how she always dresses when she goes out.

  “I thought this was at a bar?” I ask with a frown.

  “It’s going to be televised,” Exeter announces.

  I blink, gulping, then look down at my outfit, something that I worked in for over ten hours today. I shake my head, taking a step back.

  “I just won’t go, then. You guys will have an awesome time. It’s not really my thing anyway,” I murmur.

  Channing gasps as Exeter frowns, but it’s Laurie who shakes her head as she takes a step toward me. “Hutton Baker, you are going,” she announces.

  I open my mouth, but she just holds her palm up to my face. “You never go anywhere. You never d
o anything, other than work and visit your PawPaw. You’re coming with us and you’re going to have fun. Now, I knew that you wouldn’t bring anything sexy, basically because you don’t own anything sexy. So put this on and don’t give me any shit.”

  Laurie shoves the black fabric in her hand toward me and presses it against my chest. She releases it and I have no other choice other than to hold on to it, otherwise it will land on the floor which always has little hairs littering it, no matter how many times I sweep and mop.

  “I like her,” Exeter mutters, lifting her eyebrows as she looks at me.

  Shaking my head, I narrow my gaze on all three of the women who are staring at me, waiting for my next reaction.

  “Fine,” I snap.

  Turning my back to them, I stomp toward the small bathroom in the back, ignoring Laurie’s giggle as I close the door behind me to get dressed. Before I strip out of my clothes, I take a good look in the mirror.

  My long dark hair is styled in loosely curled rings. I didn’t do anything fancy for myself, I’m just not that way, I’m not that exciting. My makeup is minimal, my eyelashes the most dramatic part of my face. I feel like since they’re naturally longer, it’s easy to play them up and add a ton of dramatic black mascara.

  I huff at the piece of fabric that Laurie thinks is a dress. It’s spaghetti strapped, which means that I can’t wear my sensible nude bra with it. I usually never go braless, but it looks like I won’t have a choice tonight.

  Luckily, I live in Texas and it’s hot as Satan’s living room, so my nipples won’t be on display to the world. That’s the only bright side about this too tight, too short, too strappy piece of stretchy black cotton.

  Balling up my clothes, I toss them on the small bench in the corner of the bathroom and tug the door open before stepping out into the salon. The room goes quiet as soon as I enter. Lifting my gaze, I look over at the three women who are just staring at me.

  “Who knew that body was under those clothes?” Exeter mumbles.